Cabar.asia
Women suicide in Tajikistan
Every year in Tajikistan hundreds of women attempt suicide. Experts say the main cause of these tragic events is family conflicts and domestic violence.
According to the Republican Clinical Psychiatry Center, women make up 90% of suicides. Since 2015, their number has been actively growing. The figures for the last year and a half have increased significantly.
According to the Committee on Women and Family Affairs under the Government of Tajikistan, there were 135 cases of suicide among women in the first six months of 2021, a decrease of four cases over the same period in 2020.
Sociologist Lola Kholmatova lists domestic violence, prolonged migration of husbands and fathers, and unstable financial situation as the main reasons. Now there is another one - the pandemic and its consequences.
According to the Committee on Women and Family Affairs under the Government of Tajikistan, there were 135 cases of suicide among women in the first six months of 2021, a decrease of four cases over the same period in 2020.
Sociologist Lola Kholmatova lists domestic violence, prolonged migration of husbands and fathers, and unstable financial situation as the main reasons. Now there is another one - the pandemic and its consequences.
Irreconcilable sister-in-law.
At 21, Shukrona was forcibly married off to a 56-year-old man. She had to accept her fate. At first everything went well, she even managed to get used to an "alien" grown-up man. Only her husband's sister-in-law, who lived with them, disturbed the tranquility of family life. The sister-in-law criticized everything Shukron did. The husband decided not to interfere.
Time passed. Shukrona became pregnant and gave birth to a son. It seemed that after the baby was born she would finally be welcomed into this family and life would become easier. But fate decided otherwise. Now her sister-in-law hated not only her daughter-in-law, but also her son. She told all her relatives and neighbors that the child was from another man. A couple of months later she convinced her brother of this as well.
Shukrona's husband did not want to hear any excuses. He started beating his wife. Then he stopped letting her go to her parents, forbade her to go outside the house. The child grew up on its own: nobody gave any money for it and nobody wanted to look after it. In one of the scandals her husband could not stand the women's cries and said "talaq" three times, (he told his wife that he divorced her). Shukrona then silently left the house, went into the barn, and set herself on fire.
No criminal case was opened. The story was told by Shukrona's neighbor.
Time passed. Shukrona became pregnant and gave birth to a son. It seemed that after the baby was born she would finally be welcomed into this family and life would become easier. But fate decided otherwise. Now her sister-in-law hated not only her daughter-in-law, but also her son. She told all her relatives and neighbors that the child was from another man. A couple of months later she convinced her brother of this as well.
Shukrona's husband did not want to hear any excuses. He started beating his wife. Then he stopped letting her go to her parents, forbade her to go outside the house. The child grew up on its own: nobody gave any money for it and nobody wanted to look after it. In one of the scandals her husband could not stand the women's cries and said "talaq" three times, (he told his wife that he divorced her). Shukrona then silently left the house, went into the barn, and set herself on fire.
No criminal case was opened. The story was told by Shukrona's neighbor.
A disgruntled mother-in-law brought a second wife into the house
Nasiba grew up in a wealthy family. She got an education, found her dream job, married for love. The only thing that overshadowed her joy was that she could not have children. At first her husband supported her, took her to doctors. After five years, they came to terms with it. Then his mother came from the area for treatment and stayed for a whole year.
Every day the mother-in-law "casually" mentioned the children of all her relatives, talking about how she dreamed of grandchildren. A year later, the woman began suggesting that her son get a second wife, looking for candidates. And all this happened in front of Nasiba.
Nasiba began to withdraw into herself, started working late, and stopped eating properly. One day, her mother-in-law brought to their home a future candidate for the role of second wife and mother of the child. The evening ended in scandal. Three days later, Nasiba threw herself out the window. Three months later, her husband married.
No criminal case was filed. Nasiba's sister told the story.
Photo: https://www.wattpad.com/
Every day the mother-in-law "casually" mentioned the children of all her relatives, talking about how she dreamed of grandchildren. A year later, the woman began suggesting that her son get a second wife, looking for candidates. And all this happened in front of Nasiba.
Nasiba began to withdraw into herself, started working late, and stopped eating properly. One day, her mother-in-law brought to their home a future candidate for the role of second wife and mother of the child. The evening ended in scandal. Three days later, Nasiba threw herself out the window. Three months later, her husband married.
No criminal case was filed. Nasiba's sister told the story.
Photo: https://www.wattpad.com/
Husband wanted a son
Zulaiho, a little girl, lost her beloved father when she was nine years old. Since there were five other children in the family, she had to leave school and go to work in the fields. When the girl was 16, she was given in marriage to a distant relative.
Her husband treated her well, but there was no talk of great love. Zulaiho did everything to deserve her husband's love. Thanks to her mother-in-law, she had to do a lot: the soups her daughter-in-law cooked were poured out; the laundry she washed was forced to be hand-washed several times by hand. But the worst thing Zulaikho felt was that she could not give birth. Her daughter did not come until a year and a half later. Life began to get better: her husband was happy; the baby was growing up healthy.
After another year, the second daughter came along. This time the husband was no longer happy - he wanted a son. Every day he would come home drunk and tell his wife that she was not a woman, since she could not give him an heir. Her mother-in-law said the same thing.
Zulaikho could not leave: with two children, she was not welcome at home, and she loved her husband. After another round of humiliation, she cut her wrists. Zulaikho was saved. But she got treated even worse. Her husband found a second wife, built her a house, and now they are raising a son together. Zulaikho lives with his mother as a house cleaner and no one wants her children.
No criminal case was initiated. The story was told by Zulaiho herself.
Her husband treated her well, but there was no talk of great love. Zulaiho did everything to deserve her husband's love. Thanks to her mother-in-law, she had to do a lot: the soups her daughter-in-law cooked were poured out; the laundry she washed was forced to be hand-washed several times by hand. But the worst thing Zulaikho felt was that she could not give birth. Her daughter did not come until a year and a half later. Life began to get better: her husband was happy; the baby was growing up healthy.
After another year, the second daughter came along. This time the husband was no longer happy - he wanted a son. Every day he would come home drunk and tell his wife that she was not a woman, since she could not give him an heir. Her mother-in-law said the same thing.
Zulaikho could not leave: with two children, she was not welcome at home, and she loved her husband. After another round of humiliation, she cut her wrists. Zulaikho was saved. But she got treated even worse. Her husband found a second wife, built her a house, and now they are raising a son together. Zulaikho lives with his mother as a house cleaner and no one wants her children.
No criminal case was initiated. The story was told by Zulaiho herself.
Daughter cut her wrists, just like her mother
Nargis was abandoned by her husband when she became pregnant. The girl was forced to return to her father. He accepted his daughter with a heavy heart. Almost every day he fought with Nargis, called her a "whore", sometimes beat her. The girl endured everything for the sake of the child. A few months later a beautiful girl was born, a job came along, life began to get better, but the relationship with her father was still difficult, Nargis continued to walk around with bruises.
The first suicide attempt took place in front of her daughter. After another showdown with her father, the girl tried to slit her wrists with a huge knife in front of her six-year-old child. She did not care.
The second attempt came when her daughter turned eight. Nargis swallowed pills. Again in front of the baby. She was rescued. Difficulties with her father, public gossip, all pressured the girl and she began to take it out on the child.
Six years of scandals and family hell and now her daughter will try to leave her life by slitting her wrists, just like her mother. The second attempt will take place in the same year. The third will be a year later, in 2019, this time the child will swallow pills. The girl is now 17 years old and already has three suicide attempts on her record.
No criminal case has been opened for any of the suicide attempts of Nargis and her daughter.
Photo: https://www.webmd.com/
The first suicide attempt took place in front of her daughter. After another showdown with her father, the girl tried to slit her wrists with a huge knife in front of her six-year-old child. She did not care.
The second attempt came when her daughter turned eight. Nargis swallowed pills. Again in front of the baby. She was rescued. Difficulties with her father, public gossip, all pressured the girl and she began to take it out on the child.
Six years of scandals and family hell and now her daughter will try to leave her life by slitting her wrists, just like her mother. The second attempt will take place in the same year. The third will be a year later, in 2019, this time the child will swallow pills. The girl is now 17 years old and already has three suicide attempts on her record.
No criminal case has been opened for any of the suicide attempts of Nargis and her daughter.
Photo: https://www.webmd.com/
A woman must accept not only her husband, but also all his relatives
According to sociologists, the main cause of suicide among women in Tajikistan is most often a family and domestic relationship that develops between husband and wife.
"This is primarily due to domestic violence, when the husband raises his hand against his own wife, psychologically pressures her, and the woman finds a way out in suicide. This happens because many women, afraid of condemnation by relatives and neighbors, hide the violence and close themselves off, as a result, shifts in the psyche begin and the woman commits suicide," says sociologist Lola Kholmatova.
Another reason may be the despotism of the mother-in-law, who belittles the personality of her daughter-in-law and treats her like a servant.
"It is customary in Tajik families that a woman marries not only a man, but also his whole family, where you have to please everyone, while not having your own say," Lola Kholmatova said.She also mentioned the tragedy in Nurek, when a woman threw herself into the river with four children.
"As a result, this received a wide resonance in society and not only revealed the reasons for driving the woman to suicide and killing her children, but also revealed the source. Namely her fourteen-year-old sister-in-law, who drove her to this state," says Lola Kholmatova.
Human rights activist and director of the Ghamkhori NGO Madina Nizomova also believes that women who are subjected to domestic violence often resort to suicide.
"Our practice has shown that. When talking to victims of domestic violence, you can almost always hear about suicide attempts; there were cases when a woman tried to do it several times, but she was saved," says Madina Nizomova.
"This is primarily due to domestic violence, when the husband raises his hand against his own wife, psychologically pressures her, and the woman finds a way out in suicide. This happens because many women, afraid of condemnation by relatives and neighbors, hide the violence and close themselves off, as a result, shifts in the psyche begin and the woman commits suicide," says sociologist Lola Kholmatova.
Another reason may be the despotism of the mother-in-law, who belittles the personality of her daughter-in-law and treats her like a servant.
"It is customary in Tajik families that a woman marries not only a man, but also his whole family, where you have to please everyone, while not having your own say," Lola Kholmatova said.She also mentioned the tragedy in Nurek, when a woman threw herself into the river with four children.
"As a result, this received a wide resonance in society and not only revealed the reasons for driving the woman to suicide and killing her children, but also revealed the source. Namely her fourteen-year-old sister-in-law, who drove her to this state," says Lola Kholmatova.
Human rights activist and director of the Ghamkhori NGO Madina Nizomova also believes that women who are subjected to domestic violence often resort to suicide.
"Our practice has shown that. When talking to victims of domestic violence, you can almost always hear about suicide attempts; there were cases when a woman tried to do it several times, but she was saved," says Madina Nizomova.
Iftikhor Kamolov, deputy director of the Republican Clinical Psychiatry Center, highlights the following common causes of suicide among women in the country:
Social and psychological unpreparedness.
Girls entering marriage at an early age are most often psychologically unprepared. The situation is aggravated by her husband's bad habits, of which she was not aware.
Marriage by decision of family members.
The situation is more complicated if the bride has a loved one. Often it ends in a suicide attempt either before the wedding or after, if there was pressure from the husband's family.
Low level of socio-economic life:
Low level of education, unpreparedness for family life, drug and alcohol use, etc.
Unhealthy and dysfunctional families.
The death or departure of a parent shifts all responsibility for maintenance and upbringing to an older family member, which leads to a lack of control over children. Those, in turn, feel abandoned and unwanted and drive themselves to a severe mental state.
Disagreements in the family.
Pressure from the husband's family, treating the daughter-in-law as a servant, all kinds of violence against her, cheating on the husband, long migrations without supporting the family, etc.
Similar cases in the family.
If one parent committed suicide, the child will probably try to do it again. This obsession will haunt the child, especially if he or she has seen a loved one do it.
Jamoliddin Khomushov, head of the Islamic Center of the Republic of Tajikistan's fatwa department, stressed that Islam condemns suicide.
"Probably the cause of these tragic events are economic problems in the family. But we think that the main reason for this phenomenon is the low level of religious and moral knowledge of this category. At the same time there are other factors, such as unemployment, immorality and lack of proper family upbringing," Khomushov says.
There are also problems with the attitude of law-enforcement agencies toward suicides themselves.
According to Madina Nizomova, director of the Ghamkhori NGO, sometimes suicide cases do not reach the court because law enforcement agencies conclude that the victim was mentally ill.
"I was walking from work in the evening and decided to take a walk and walk across the bridge. I saw a young girl who wanted to throw herself into the river. Immediately I called the police. While they were on their way, I went up to the girl, started talking to her, calmed her down and, at the very last moment, I managed to catch her. By that time the police officers had also arrived. I explained the situation to them and called an ambulance, but instead of sorting things out they started talking to her in a rude manner. They found out she was from a village and told her that if she wanted to kill herself, she should have done it in her village, instead of creating problems for them," a source in Dushanbe told me on condition of anonymity.
"Probably the cause of these tragic events are economic problems in the family. But we think that the main reason for this phenomenon is the low level of religious and moral knowledge of this category. At the same time there are other factors, such as unemployment, immorality and lack of proper family upbringing," Khomushov says.
There are also problems with the attitude of law-enforcement agencies toward suicides themselves.
According to Madina Nizomova, director of the Ghamkhori NGO, sometimes suicide cases do not reach the court because law enforcement agencies conclude that the victim was mentally ill.
"I was walking from work in the evening and decided to take a walk and walk across the bridge. I saw a young girl who wanted to throw herself into the river. Immediately I called the police. While they were on their way, I went up to the girl, started talking to her, calmed her down and, at the very last moment, I managed to catch her. By that time the police officers had also arrived. I explained the situation to them and called an ambulance, but instead of sorting things out they started talking to her in a rude manner. They found out she was from a village and told her that if she wanted to kill herself, she should have done it in her village, instead of creating problems for them," a source in Dushanbe told me on condition of anonymity.
What are the authorities, civil society, and the Islamic Center doing to prevent suicide?
Committee on Women and Family Affairs under the Government of Tajikistan
The committee conducts "outreach activities" to discourage women from committing suicide, Obidjon Shiripov, a lawyer with the government's Committee on Women and Family Affairs, said.
"Both in Dushanbe and in distant cities and districts, our staff conducts these activities. There is no special program to prevent suicide because it is very difficult to identify and predict whether a woman will commit suicide or not. However, we work to prevent suicide among women as part of all our programs," Obidjon Sharipov said.
"Both in Dushanbe and in distant cities and districts, our staff conducts these activities. There is no special program to prevent suicide because it is very difficult to identify and predict whether a woman will commit suicide or not. However, we work to prevent suicide among women as part of all our programs," Obidjon Sharipov said.
Civil Society
Sociologist Lola Kholmatova believes that, first of all, civil society should create certain action plans to prevent suicide.
"In particular, some preventive measures should be developed; psychological trainings should be conducted, etc. I would also note the importance of formal and informal organizations, which should not only identify women who are prone to suicide, but also help them out of this situation," - sociologist Lola Kholmatova.
"In particular, some preventive measures should be developed; psychological trainings should be conducted, etc. I would also note the importance of formal and informal organizations, which should not only identify women who are prone to suicide, but also help them out of this situation," - sociologist Lola Kholmatova.
Islamic Center of the Republic of Tajikistan
Jamoliddin Khomushov, head of the Islamic Center of the Republic of Tajikistan's department of fatwas, said that all imams are instructed to preach on Fridays on moral issues "as a warning to the public about such illegal behavior and its negative nature, so that people can wake up and direct themselves and their families."
"It is also very important to take the following steps: to involve young people in proper religious and secular education; to carry out propaganda and agitation to inform them of the negative consequences of suicide from a religious-legal perspective; to make them aware of the mutual rights of the family; to strengthen the power of the family and its place in religious teachings. The whole society: teachers, clergy, parents together with relevant institutions should work effectively in this direction," said Jamoliddin Homushov.
"It is also very important to take the following steps: to involve young people in proper religious and secular education; to carry out propaganda and agitation to inform them of the negative consequences of suicide from a religious-legal perspective; to make them aware of the mutual rights of the family; to strengthen the power of the family and its place in religious teachings. The whole society: teachers, clergy, parents together with relevant institutions should work effectively in this direction," said Jamoliddin Homushov.
This publication was produced as part of the mentorship programme under the Development of New Media and Digital Journalism in Central Asia project delivered by the Institute for War and Peace Reporting (IWPR) with support from the UK Government. It does not necessarily reflect the official views of IWPR or the UK Government
