THE HARDEST LESSON
HOW ORPHANS IN KARAGANDA CAN NOT ADAPT TO REAL LIFE
2022
MASTER'S PROJECT BY KATERINA AFANASYEVA

INTERNATIONAL JOURNALISM AND MASS COMMUNICATIONS
AMERICAN UNIVERSITY OF CENTRAL ASIA
THE HARDEST LESSON
HOW ORPHANS IN KARAGANDA CAN NOT ADAPT TO REAL LIFE
2022
MASTER'S PROJECT BY KATERINA AFANASYEVA

INTERNATIONAL JOURNALISM AND MASS COMMUNICATIONS
AMERICAN UNIVERSITY OF CENTRAL ASIA
Every year orphanages in Kazakhstan release 2,000 orphans according to the Ministry of Education for 2013. Almost all of them go into “adulthood" unfit: they do not know about their rights, have problems with employment and have no idea about the family model.

This is the story of Anatoly, his pain and memories of difficulties in the orphanage and attempts to adapt to reality.

About the project:

In order to check what problems graduates of orphanages in Karaganda face when adapting to adulthood, I used a quantitative research method and conducted a survey of 35 graduates. Almost all of them confirmed that the problems that Anatoly is talking about are not of a private nature, but are systemic. I present the results of an anonymous questionnaire using the example of Anatoly's history.

The school concert on the occasion of International Women’s Day was held in an ordinary assembly hall – a stage decorated with balloons, burgundy curtains, and theatrical seating. Parents and teachers came in festive clothes, and schoolchildren jostled behind the scenes and tried to look at the stage. Everything is as it usually happens in high school, except for one small detail.

A boy Tolik performed a touching song about his mother on stage. He was extremely proud of himself, because at that moment dozens of eyes were turned to him. During the next chorus, he caught himself thinking that the one woman he was singing to was not in the hall.


2010
I still remember that feeling: mothers listen to me, not their child, but me —
a child from an orphanage.

At that moment,
I realized that my mom couldn't hear me. And I was upset
why she wasn't here, why she wasn't watching me grow up.
I was offended not at my mother, but at the fate that she ordered it that way...
"
"
Tolik's mother died in 2005. The last time they saw each other was in 2000, before she was deprived of parental rights. Later, the guardianship staff will tell Tolik that his mother often drank, so she was deprived of parental rights. So the boy got into the baby's house at the age of one year, without remembering his mother at all.
In the baby's house, instead of his mother's own face, Tolik had to get used to strangers'. He calls his early childhood “an incessant stream of other people's faces."
He had to get used to the new environment, the regime, and the “lack of staff hands".

After all, despite the fact that many employees of the baby's house try to give attention and warmth to the kids as much as possible, it's still just crumbs. Therefore, when falling asleep, the kids independently rock themselves from side to side, trying to lull themselves to sleep.

The boy remembers that around him there were always 15 children aged from birth to five years. Despite this, he did not know that children differ by gender: there are boys and girls.

For him, everyone was equal, everyone had the same toys, similar clothes and food. Groupthink was developed, but Tolik did not perceive himself as a separate person at that time.


I didn't even know I was born once. We have never celebrated a birthday in the baby's house, and the thought that you were born one day, of course, did not arise.
We celebrated only the New Year, and only all together
2000
"
"
When Tolik turned 5 years old, a new stage in his life came under the name “orphanage.” He vividly remembers how the door opened and two strangers were waiting for him: the teacher of the orphanage No. 10, named after N.K. Krupskaya, and his older sister.
He had never heard of the second person.

2004
My sister met me, but I didn't know what it was then, I just guessed that it was someone from my circle, someone native
"
"
My sister met me, but I didn't know what it was then, I just guessed that it was someone from my circle, someone native
"
"
Already in the orphanage, Tolik found out that in addition to his sister, he also has an older brother, they are from the same family. The dads of the children are different, but the mother is the same.

It was about her that her sister liked to tell, trying to visualize her image in the boy's imagination – who is mom, what she is, what she should do for children, how to care and love.

Tolik's sister and brother were more lucky, they saw a family model and, having got into an orphanage at the age of 8 and 7, they had something to compare it with. The children had a model of raising a family in their heads, even if they themselves often had to ask for food from neighbors, see their parents drunk, hear their screams, but still they knew who mom was.

The first understanding about my mother came to me from my sister. She came to my group and took care of me. Through her images, it felt like she was my mother...
"
"
The first understanding about my mother came to me from my sister. She came to my group and took care of me. Through her images, it felt like she was my mother...
"
"
The age at which the child got into the orphanage matters. According to Azamat Zhamanchinov, coordinator of UNICEF programs in Kazakhstan for the protection of childhood, the development of orphans varies greatly compared to peers who grow up in the family. It is very important for children to have a relationship with an adult and feel affection for him. However, it is impossible to establish stable emotional relationships in an orphanage due to frequent staff changes. All this inevitably affects the overall development of the child.

“It has been empirically established that every three months of a young child's stay in an institution, one month of development is taken away from him. The consequences of the stay of young children [from 0 to 3 years old] in residential institutions include various serious medical disorders, insufficient physical and mental development, cognitive problems, delayed speech and language development, difficulties in sensory integration," said Azamat Zhamanchinov.
There are still exceptions. When Tolik had to go to school for the first time, it turned out that he was more capable than the other boys from his group. Before the start of education, all children from the orphanage were tested. The most capable were sent to secondary school, along with children from families. Those who were a little behind in intellectual development were sent to special classes for children from orphanages.

Most of the children from the boarding school studied at secondary school No. 74 in the first shift, and non-orphanage children came to study in the second shift. From the same neighborhood, but from a completely different world. There was practically no interaction between the children.

The fact that Tolik got into high school on a par with children raised in families can already be called a miracle. Tolik and two other children from the group went to study at secondary school No. 13, and for the first time in their lives, saw how other children raised outside the boarding school behave.
The teacher brought me and some other children to the first grade, then it seemed to me that this was normal.
I didn't even know that all children should be brought by their parents
2006
"
"

Tolik believes that for successful adaptation in life, orphans need to be sent to study with children from families, such as his, so that they get used to interacting in different environments from school, not only in an orphanage.

Psychologists also think so. “Inclusivity is always better than dividing people into categories. This is the principle of a healthy society — we accept people who differ from us by any signs as equals and include them in our society,” says Layla Esnazarova, a psychologist who works with orphaned children.

She argues that orphans should be included in schools where children from families study, but it’s important to remember the necessary conditions: teachers should be trained accordingly in order to treat the child correctly and to be able to regulate the processes taking place in the children's collective.

“By isolating orphaned children, we contribute to (their) greater disability. Then they become isolated and do not acquire the skills that children from ordinary families have, do not socialize, do not learn to integrate into society”, says Layla.


However, there were also troubles causing Tolik pain at school. For example, he hated field trips with the class.
He really wanted to get there at least once, but he was never taken anywhere. The boy never went to the theater, to the cinema, or to the museum with the class.
It's a shame, I always thought, well, can't [the orphanage] allocate these 300 tenge [$0.6 US] to take us too, so I didn't want to differ from the class
"
"
However, there were also troubles causing Tolik pain at school. For example, he hated field trips with the class.
He really wanted to get there at least once, but he was never taken anywhere. The boy never went to the theater, to the cinema, or to the museum with the class.
It's a shame, I always thought, well, can't [the orphanage] allocate these 300 tenge [$0.6 US] to take us too, so I didn't want to differ from the class
"
"
Instead of field trips with the class, children from the orphanage were left in the classroom. The younger students stayed at school under the supervision of teachers until the evening: they did their homework, entertained themselves. Tolik calls these hours of waiting unbearable.
He recalls that he was sad when parents came to pick up all the children after class, and he and his comrades always stayed last in class, as if they were “not needed by anyone.”

Later classmates guessed that Tolik and his friends do not look like children from families. In the third grade, he encountered bullying. The children derisively called him “the orphanage.” It is unpleasant to remember it. Tolik remembers that feeling many years later: a lump squeezes in his chest, it's a shame, but the lonely boy could not do anything about it.
I wanted to hide, to disappear, so that this would not happen, it was very painful
"
"
Bullying is the aggression of some children against others. It undermines the sense of self-esteem, self-esteem, and affects the social and emotional development of the child.

Offensive words send the child the message that he is worthless, unloved, or unwanted, and the only value he represents is the satisfaction of someone else's needs.
Tolik had nowhere to hide from school bullying. In the orphanage, the boy was victimized by "starshaks" – that's what they called older children. According to Tolik, there was a certain hierarchy in the orphanage: the elders and the strong had to be obeyed. So he unwittingly became a victim of hazing.

Older teenagers were often bullied, mistreated and committed acts of violence in institutions. They forced Tolik to do massage, make their beds, wash their socks, be on duty in the kitchen and give them his food, and also look for metal so that older teenagers could hand it over and receive money.
Such hazing continued to exist within the walls of the orphanage for many years, and educators did not fight it.

"Starshaks" are regularly used by many directors and educators in institutions to maintain order and control, as well as to establish discipline and punish children in their group. Such a system puts the "starshak" in a preferential position to determine the rules and establish discipline.


Tolik had nowhere to hide from school bullying. In the orphanage, the boy was victimized by "starshaks" – that's what they called older children. According to Tolik, there was a certain hierarchy in the orphanage: the elders and the strong had to be obeyed. So he unwittingly became a victim of hazing.

Older teenagers were often bullied, mistreated and committed acts of violence in institutions. They forced Tolik to do massage, make their beds, wash their socks, be on duty in the kitchen and give them his food, and also look for metal so that older teenagers could hand it over and receive money.
Such hazing continued to exist within the walls of the orphanage for many years, and educators did not fight it.

"Starshaks" are regularly used by many directors and educators in institutions to maintain order and control, as well as to establish discipline and punish children in their group. Such a system puts the "starshak" in a preferential position to determine the rules and establish discipline.


The N.K. Krupskaya Orphanage, in which Tolik was brought up for 5 years, is an institution for children with mental retardation and disabilities. But Tolik did not have them; he is healthy.

The boy got into the boarding school because of his sister and brother, who were previously assigned there so as not to be separated from their relatives. However, Tolik says that they were also absolutely healthy.
2013
After the graduation of his sister and brother from the boarding school, Tolik was transferred to the KSU "Boarding School-College of the Osakarovsky district," or as the guys said, Litvinsky Orphanage – here the teenager found himself in new unusual conditions. There were as many as 40 people in the group instead of 15.

This orphanage was located outside the city, in the village of Yesil, so there was less freedom. Communication with peers from families came to naught, Tolik and all orphaned children studied in the new institution without leaving the boarding school. There wasn't much to do nearby either, there were only steppes and a couple of small shops around. Many more children did not have their own personal belongings, except for school notebooks. And Tolik had headphones – a gift from his older sister. He gave them to a new friend.

I remember how my friend was delighted with these headphones. He had nowhere to stick them in, but he was so happy that now he had something ‘his own’
"
"
The phenomenon of "floating borders" is a very common phenomenon among children in orphanages — what belongs to a person can be freely used by a group. At the same time, each pupil can be sure that he is not the only owner of his belongings.

Tolik's friend didn't have a mobile phone. The children in the orphanage had their personal phones only if one of the relatives brought one and gave them a connection.

Of the total number of children brought up in residential institutions, 82% are social orphans. This means their biological parents or one of the parents is alive, but does not raise them.

The rate of deprivation of parental rights in Kazakhstan remains high.



Tolik's friend didn't have a mobile phone. The children in the orphanage had their personal phones only if one of the relatives brought one and gave them a connection.

Of the total number of children brought up in residential institutions, 82% are social orphans. This means their biological parents or one of the parents is alive, but does not raise them.

The rate of deprivation of parental rights in Kazakhstan remains high.


Often these phones, to which children literally pray, are taken away by educators or directors as punishment for bad behavior, and also for fearing that the child will spend too much time on social networks. Often phones are stolen or taken by the children themselves from each other in order to resell them later. One day, the phone that Tolik's sister gave him was also stolen and sold. “There was no one to complain to, I had to accept it and live like everyone else," Tolid said. Later, the boy himself, having accumulated 1,500 tenge [$3 US], bought someone else's stolen gadget.

The phone, by the way, also served as currency. 15 minutes of playing on the phone were one notebook. So the children received some things in return for the pleasures they were deprived of.
That milestone appearance on stage, when Tolik sang his song before the audience, stretches for a fraction of a lifetime. For Tolik, this memory did not lose its colors on the day of graduation. “Mom's not here. He will never see her.” Tolik got used to this idea and does not expect anyone's support.

I graduated and said,
'I will achieve everything myself. City, get ready, meet me!

"
"
2018
That milestone appearance on stage, when Tolik sang his song before the audience, stretches for a fraction of a lifetime. For Tolik, this memory did not lose its colors on the day of graduation. “Mom's not here. He will never see her.” Tolik got used to this idea and does not expect anyone's support.

I graduated and said,
'I will achieve everything myself. City, get ready, meet me!

"
"
2018
Now the orphanage is in the past. There are no rules, along with the long-awaited freedom, Tolik receives a package of his documents in his hands. He hadn't seen them before. What documentation is needed for what purpose, he also does not know. This was not taught to graduates in the orphanage, they only verbally indicated what and where to submit the day before entering the real world.
When I was applying for the survivor's allowance, staff member told me in the PSC [Public Service Center], gave me a death certificate, and I had no idea what kind of document it was. It was awkward, I didn't want to look stupid. I couldn't find it among a bunch of other documents. I just gave the whole folder to the staff member and she was looking for it herself
"
"
Now the orphanage is in the past. There are no rules, along with the long-awaited freedom, Tolik receives a package of his documents in his hands. He hadn't seen them before. What documentation is needed for what purpose, he also does not know. This was not taught to graduates in the orphanage, they only verbally indicated what and where to submit the day before entering the real world.
When I was applying for the survivor's allowance, staff member told me in the PSC [Public Service Center], gave me a death certificate, and I had no idea what kind of document it was. It was awkward, I didn't want to look stupid. I couldn't find it among a bunch of other documents. I just gave the whole folder to the staff member and she was looking for it herself
"
"
This case is not an isolated one. Unfortunately, children leaving the orphanage do not know at all how life works outside the walls of the boarding school. They never went to supermarkets, no one taught them how to use a debit card.
For example, the heads of the orphanage took us to the bank, but they did everything for us there. We just signed it. And it's still hard for me to navigate in the hospital to this day. I can't. We are used to not taking responsibility. Some of my friends are still postponing getting travel or residence permits because they don't know how to do it and are afraid
"
"
This case is not an isolated one. Unfortunately, children leaving the orphanage do not know at all how life works outside the walls of the boarding school. They never went to supermarkets, no one taught them how to use a debit card.
For example, the heads of the orphanage took us to the bank, but they did everything for us there. We just signed it. And it's still hard for me to navigate in the hospital to this day. I can't. We are used to not taking responsibility. Some of my friends are still postponing getting travel or residence permits because they don't know how to do it and are afraid
"
"
The children in the boarding school, of course, have their own responsibilities. Most of the survey participants replied that they washed the floors, watered the flowers and mended their clothes, all under the control of the educators.
Personal motivation is rarely tracked.
Educators do everything for them. Food is prepared and served on schedule, clothes and stationery are given out as necessary.
On the one hand, the state takes care of children, but on the other hand, by its actions it develops dependency on them, which breaks lives in the future
"
"
Educators do everything for them. Food is prepared and served on schedule, clothes and stationery are given out as necessary.
On the one hand, the state takes care of children, but on the other hand, by its actions it develops dependency on them, which breaks lives in the future
"
"
After he graduated, Tolik didn't want to work. What for? Up to this age, he received survivor's benefits in the amount of 40,477 tenge [$86 US] a month. And a scholarship for studying at a university on a grant — 65,520 tenge [$140 US]. The housing and tuition are free; he spends money only on food and personal needs.

Until the age of 23, Tolik changed jobs four times. He did not work officially in any company. If he had found a job, observing all the requirements of the Law of the Republic of Kazakhstan, he would have lost the survivor's allowance. It sounds absolutely illogical, so he didn't take any chances. With two options – to work and receive money or to do nothing and still receive them - Tolik chose the second one.

One day Tolik worked at a car wash, but left. “I spent two days as a merchandiser in the store," he said. “For a month, I was a handyman at a construction site." After receiving 81,000 tenge [173 $], the construction is over. His longest job was in the car market, as a salesman on the street. Tolik worked there for 3 months, until the arrival of winter.
He says "it's difficult to work because it's uncomfortable when someone commands you and gives you instructions".
This answer received the largest number of votes in an anonymous survey among graduates of orphanages.
In fact, because of the absence of attachment, it is very difficult for orphans to build long-term, trusting relationships. It is also difficult for them to maintain them. This skill is not formed while they are growing up.

For people who grew up in families, it seems very natural, because, having acquired this skill in infancy, a person trains in it all their childhood, by living in a family. Communicating with the same adults, without a constant change of people.
Psychologist Layla Esnazarova explains it this way:

“Attachment trauma affects the entire subsequent life of a child. By the way, it could have happened even in the family, we do not know in what circumstances the child grew up.”

Layla gives an example of when a child grows up in an environment where the caregiver is also a source of danger, then a subconscious mindset is not formed in him that power is good, that someone older, endowed with power, is the one who takes care of me. If the mother feeds, then beats, then leaves hungry for three days, and then the child is moved to an orphanage and the cycle begins: the changing of faces, the transition from group to group, the change of educators, the reforms of the orphanage. The consequences of the injury are only being extended?.

Accordingly, already as an adult, a person cannot perceive the boss at work as some kind of person friendly to him, he cannot perceive the team as some kind of temporary family, because the concept of family has not been formed.

“It seems to him that he cannot obey, but in fact, everything is deeper. The fact that he cannot obey is a consequence of the injury,” says Esnazarova.
However, you will have to work. Tolik understands this and is already “preparing” with friends.
There is a fear to work, to join the team. I seem to be fine with communication, but there is fear. And I don't want this everyday life: you work from morning to evening, you come tired. As soon as I graduate from university, adult life will begin, there will be no freebies. Work every day, get up all the time, fill out papers, make plans.

The guys and I are currently getting high from freedom, but we are going to talk about the fact that we won't see each other in 4 months, work will begin. We are preparing mentally

"
"
However, you will have to work. Tolik understands this and is already “preparing” with friends.
There is a fear to work, to join the team. I seem to be fine with communication, but there is fear. And I don't want this everyday life: you work from morning to evening, you come tired. As soon as I graduate from university, adult life will begin, there will be no freebies. Work every day, get up all the time, fill out papers, make plans.

The guys and I are currently getting high from freedom, but we are going to talk about the fact that we won't see each other in 4 months, work will begin. We are preparing mentally

"
"
How life will turn out after graduation from the orphanage, no one knows. Each graduate chooses his own path. The stories are absolutely individual. Tolik's older brother, after graduating from an orphanage, fell into bad company. Drugs entered his life, which took him to the grave.

Neither Tolik nor the elder sister could see their brother off on his last journey. They learned about his death three months later from a mutual acquaintance.

“But my sister's life turned out well: she got married, had a child, studied, got a job and even got an apartment from the state.”

According to the law, graduates of orphanages can take rental housing with or without redemption through the waiting lists of akimats [regional representative of the executive authority]. The queue may drag on for years, but for most graduates, this is their only opportunity to become the owner of a roof over their heads. The conditions for the purchase of a house are attractive: affordable price, no down payment, long lease term.

Graduates of orphanages can get an apartment from the state, after waiting in line, only up to 29 years old – such a period is established by law, it is believed that after this age an adult can earn his own housing.
However, Tolik says that of all the children he knows from the orphanage, almost none have ever received housing under the state program – only his sister.

Few of the orphans believe that this is possible.
However, Tolik says that of all the children he knows from the orphanage, almost none have ever received housing under the state program – only his sister.

Few of the orphans believe that this is possible.
Tolik was also in line for an apartment; there were only 200 children in front of him, until he was removed from the queue due to the fact that the management of the orphanage did not change his residence permit when moving to the Litvinovsky orphanage. The boy is not guilty here. He has already won two trials. The state says that he should be added and restored to the queue. He was added to the queue, although now he is at number 2,000. His chance to get an apartment is small.
Tolik decided not to give up, but to restore justice. Now, with the help of an older friend who helps orphans to socialize, he is writing a letter to the prosecutor's office.
Tolik was also in line for an apartment; there were only 200 children in front of him, until he was removed from the queue due to the fact that the management of the orphanage did not change his residence permit when moving to the Litvinovsky orphanage. The boy is not guilty here. He has already won two trials. The state says that he should be added and restored to the queue. He was added to the queue, although now he is at number 2,000. His chance to get an apartment is small.
Tolik decided not to give up, but to restore justice. Now, with the help of an older friend who helps orphans to socialize, he is writing a letter to the prosecutor's office.
The adaptation of orphans is not easy. It's hard for them to trust others. Often, they hide their past and do not say that they graduated from an orphanage. For example, 19 out of 35 survey respondents prefer not to tell anyone about it. Most of them have an older friend who graduated from an orphanage a couple of years earlier and is ready to help sort out a new life.

It’s good luck if the “authority” leads a positive lifestyle. Otherwise, the graduate gets into a rut of problems and addictions, and it is difficult to get out of them independently.

It’s good luck if the “authority” leads a positive lifestyle. Otherwise, the graduate gets into a rut of problems and addictions, and it is difficult to get out of them independently.

According to the results of the survey, some graduates believe that the orphanage prepares them for real life and the same number believe that it does not.
The largest number of children answered “perhaps” to the question “Were they ready for real life after graduation from the orphanage?”
​​This is the story of one boy, but there are thousands of such children in Kazakhstan. The consequences of upbringing in boarding schools, the lack of personal responsibility for their lives and separate education in closed schools very clearly affect children after graduation, where children will face the most difficult lesson – to adapt.
Based on the questionnaire, I have compiled recommendations for the heads of orphanages that will help with the adaptation of graduates to the adult world.

Children living in orphanages are used to being supported by the state and do not think about where the money comes from. This lack of financial literacy has a very deplorable effect on life after graduation. 54% of survey respondents answered that it was difficult for them to properly manage money and that they spent a lot at first. Unfortunately, the system of orphanages does not teach even the most basic skills of financial literacy. Someone else pays for clothes, food, and utilities; there is no possibility of one's own financial earnings and disposal of funds for children.

Based on this, the management of orphanages should introduce a special practice-oriented course, which will be aimed at developing students' competencies in the field of personal finance management.

Also, in order to successfully solve the problem of adaptation in orphanages, a well-thought-out concept of organizing free time outside the boarding school is needed. Isolation in the walls of the orphanage contributes to the restriction of communication with society and has a negative effect on the mental development of children. It is necessary to show children where significant urban landmarks are located. Introduce them to the names of the main streets so that they are not afraid or embarrassed to move around the city. Develop more independence in them.

Teach children to cook and make necessary purchases in the store. Only 8% of respondents cooked their own food in an orphanage and only 5% went to the shops on their own.

It will be useful to conduct training lessons on what to do with typical documents. Where to submit them, for example, to enroll in an educational institution, or how to apply for a queue for rental housing.
11% of the surveyed graduates do not even know anything about the possibility of obtaining housing.

It is necessary to tell students what services can be performed in the bank, how to make an appointment with a doctor, where to seek help in the PSC, and so on. These and many other actions seem to a person brought up in a family, primitively understandable. However, they create many difficulties for orphans, for whom everything has always been decided by the state in the person of the educator.

It is also necessary to develop such social charity projects as Mentoring, where volunteers over the age of 25 can be friends with teenage children, building constructive, trusting relationships with them.
Being a significant influential person in the life of a graduate, mentors can help them to socialize. In Kazakhstan, the Dara Public Foundation is engaged in the Mentors project. Although the project exists in 14 cities of the country, it is not yet in every orphanage.

Special attention should be paid to post-orphanage support. Institutions established to support orphans aged 16 to 23 years in order to assist them in obtaining education, employment, protection and ensuring the realization of the right to housing, acquiring skills of adaptation in society, leisure activities, ensuring physical, mental, moral, and spiritual development.

After the interview and writing this text, Tolik got a job. He really hopes that everything in life will turn out well, and he will still “conquer the city Karaganda." Tolik dreams of getting a master's degree in psychology and buying a car AUDI A7, as in the photo that hangs on his closet in the dorm.

After the interview and writing this text, Tolik got a job. He really hopes that everything in life will turn out well, and he will still “conquer the city Karaganda." Tolik dreams of getting a master's degree in psychology and buying a car AUDI A7, as in the photo that hangs on his closet in the dorm.

AUCA-2022

Illustrator:
Aigerim Nurgalieva

Supervisor:
Aizhana Dzhumalieva


Text, design and photos:
Katerina Afanasyeva

Editors:
Aziza Raimberdieva, Samantha Sunne


Author of the idea and project:
Katerina Afanasyeva