"Under the pressure of fear"
How a 12-year-old teenager in Tajikistan
stalked his classmate and went unpunished
Rus
Seventh-grader Amina from Tajikistan just wanted to study, enjoy her school days and dream about the future. But fear became her constant companion. A boy from a parallel class harassed her for two and a half years, manipulated and forced her into sexual acts. This story is about how psychological violence can destroy a child's fragile world, why it is so important to notice the trouble hidden behind school walls in time, and what the way out may be.
Tajikistan is a country where traditions, patriarchal values, and Islamic beliefs are intertwined, creating a unique cultural and social atmosphere.

In Tajik society, the main measure of a woman's happiness and success is considered to be her husband and children. From an early age, girls are taught that they are merely "guests" in their family, and their primary role is to become good wives, avoiding disgrace for both their own family and their husband's family. This fear of shame is closely tied to the concept of patience and silence "in the name of love," and is reinforced by the example of women around them who tolerate or justify violence, viewing it as part of culture, tradition, and upbringing.

These foundations, supported by social pressure and weak legal protections, only contribute to the spread of violence and the reinforcement of impunity.

The situation in the country is alarming: In 2017, 52% of respondents believed that domestic violence was "a personal matter of every family," but by 2021, that number had risen to 75%. his further confirms that violence against women has become part of the social norm.
Girls in Tajikistan often face violence not only at home, but also at school, where it manifests in forms of psychological pressure and manipulation.

* We have changed all the names to avoid possible unpleasant consequences for the heroine.

This story happened to Amina* a few years ago. At that time, she was a student of the 7th grade of a secondary school in the Sughd region of Tajikistan. This region is known for high levels of gender-based violence, and her case is one of those. Amina had just turned 12 years old.

She was a quiet, shy girl and studied with great enthusiasm. Despite her modesty, Amina was incredibly beautiful. Ravshan*, a boy from a wealthy family and a favourite of the teachers, studied in a parallel class. He was popular at school, and many believed he could get away with anything.

But Amina did not notice him. To her, Ravshan was just a boy she didn't want to deal with. Neither his confidence nor his style of communication attracted her. However, to her surprise, Ravshan fell in love with her. [Later, Amina found out that Ravshan chose her because she was the most "decent" girl in school who did not date boys. He had bet his friends that he could win her over as a 'trophy'].

The boy began to render attention in an increasingly annoying way: he approached her in the corridor during recess, went into her classroom to somehow cross paths, stalked her in public places. And since that moment, Amina's life has changed a lot.
“
"I just couldn't walk home safely. He and his friends were always there, “protecting” me from threats that did not exist. People around me convinced me that he loved me so much, it was cute and I was just ungrateful. And I felt fear all the time," Amina recalls.
Ravshan's persecution lasted for almost six months, and Amina was very tired of his constant attempts to conquer. The interference from teachers, who watched his 'first love' with amusement, only added fuel to the fire. They kept saying how lucky the girl was and tried to manipulate her into somehow "reciprocating" Ravshan's feelings.

For Amina, all this was unbearable. In Tajikistan, where every second woman faces violence — psychological, physical, economic or sexualized — it is easy to confuse control and manipulation with the manifestation of love. The teachers apparently did not understand this, and Amina herself did not know how to do the right thing either.

By that time, Ravshan had started threatening all her friends she was in contact with, and even starting fights with them if they tried to talk to her.
“
"Wherever I went, whatever I did, whoever I talked to, it all had consequences. If I talked to any boy, he would get beaten up," Amina shares regretfully.
To remedy the situation, the girl gave in and agreed to meet with Ravshan. And then she found herself in some kind of vicious circle, where everything revolved only around the needs and desires of the boy. He continued to control her life, forbidding her to communicate with friends, because now she was "his girlfriend." Just a month later, he began to force Amina to have sex. It was unacceptable to her.
“
"It didn't come to sexual intercourse, but I had to endure kisses, hugs and groping. It was disgusting. I was afraid and couldn't say no."
There was no authoritative adult in Amina's life. She had no one to turn to for advice or complain to. Her parents were divorced, Amina lived with her mother, but she did not want to bother her with her problems, and her older brother went to study in Russia.

So, after a couple of months, gathering her thoughts, Amina decided to break off relations with Ravshan. But in vain. He wouldn't let her go, said he couldn't live without her, and also intimidated and threatened her. It became a real psychological torture. Amina realized she could not continue living like this.

Meanwhile, circumstances arose in the family, because of which Amina's mother decided to move to Russia. Although the move was not related to Ravshan, it turned out to be a chance for Amina to start a new life. She and her mother moved in with relatives, hoping to leave everything behind.

But Ravshan was not deterred by this either. He persistently continued to text her, call her, and harass her, only online now. The distance didn't seem to matter—he was in her life anyway, even through the screen. And all attempts to block his number and stop communicating ended the same way — messages with suicide threats and photos of Ravshan cutting his wrists. It depressed Amina. The situation worsened when the guy was hospitalized after he was accidentally hit by a car. But Ravshan told his friends that it happened because of her - they say she cheated on him and he decided to throw himself under the wheels.
“
"Everyone started hating me, writing that I was a "whore." And I felt guilty for nothing. I wanted to commit suicide to end all this," says Amina.
Unfortunately, such thoughts often occur to women and girls who have been subjected to violence. According to the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Tajikistan, 110 women and 24 girls tried to take their own lives in the first half of 2024. And these are known cases only.
This relationship, filled with psychological violence, lasted for 2.5 years, and they spent most of that time apart. The girl was finally able to put an end to it when she grew older. The turning point came with the death of her uncle, while she was still living in Russia. In a state of grief and loss, Amina received another call from Ravshan. This time, despite her reluctance to talk, she picked up the phone. Tears, pain, and all the emotions she had bottled up suddenly burst out.
“
"It was such an exhausted scream. I was screaming to be left alone."
After hanging up, Amina promised herself she would never let this man ruin her life again. However, even after leaving him, the trauma continued to haunt Amina for several more years. Until she was 16, she suffered from anxiety and panic attacks and was afraid to let guys get close to her. Only this year, at the age of 19, does she feel that she has been able to free herself from those fears.
Amina returned to her native Tajikistan only four years after the breakup. She made new friends who became her support system. She also met a man who respects her boundaries and cares for her.
From Violence to Freedom: How to Protect and Recover
Amina's story highlights how psychological abuse in adolescence can leave deep scars and affect later life. Psychologists emphasize that recovery requires both time and support. A key step in the process is learning to build personal boundaries and regain the freedom that violence has taken away.

However, psychological abuse is not the only issue among teenagers. A study published in The Lancet medical journal reports that 7% of adolescents between the ages of 12 and 17 experience violence and bullying in Tajikistan. While this might seem like a small percentage, in absolute terms, it represents 80,000 students from 5th to 11th grade. These figures confirm that the problem of violence among adolescents is much broader than it might first appear. Psychological violence leaves a lasting impact on the mental health of teenagers, and it is crucial that they are not left to cope alone. As family psychologist Madina Safarova emphasizes:

"Everything that happened cannot be changed; you must accept it as one of the stages of life. Stop fighting with yourself and start living for your own well-being: learn to say 'no,' defend your boundaries, and fill your life with new positive meanings and desires."
Nevertheless, the fight against violence is not only a personal journey but also requires a comprehensive approach that involves various aspects of society.
Orientalist philosopher Zarina Dinorshoeva emphasizes that Islam, for example, places great importance on women, protecting their rights and asserting their value in both the family and society. A woman’s voice matters, and it needs to be heard.
"Islam protects women's rights in all aspects. A woman can develop, receive an education, and marry anyone she chooses. Everything should be with her consent," adds Dinorshoeva.
Although both the law and religion protect women, in practice, many still fall victim to violence. Over the years, a situation has developed where the role of women is often belittled and distorted. In law enforcement agencies, where the majority of employees are men, victims of violence often face rejection when attempting to file a report. Even if the police refuse to accept the complaint, or if a husband claims his wife is disenfranchised, she still has the right to turn to the law, which today provides protection and the opportunity to hold perpetrators accountable.
  • What exactly can the state do to protect those facing threats or violence? What legal protections exist, and what steps should victims take to seek help?
    "The answers to these questions depend on the age of the perpetrator and the severity of his actions," says Nozim Abdullayev, Associate Professor in the Department of Criminal Law at RTSU. If a stalker is under the age of 14, he will not be held criminally responsible according to the law. Instead, his parents will be held accountable.

    If an incident involves threats or a fight that does not result in serious consequences, the parents may be held accountable under Article 90, "Failure to Fulfil Duties of Guardianship, Education, and Upbringing of Minors," of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Republic of Tajikistan.

    If the persecution involves repeated beatings or a threat to the victim's life or health, parents may face prosecution under Articles 174, "Failure to Fulfil Obligations on the Education and Upbringing of Minors," and 175, "Improper Fulfilment of Obligations to Ensure the Safety of Life and Health of Children," of the Criminal Code of the Republic of Tajikistan.

    If a perpetrator is an adult, the motivation behind his actions becomes an important factor. For example, if he claims to have been trying to get to know the victim with the intention of marriage, he may not face punishment. According to Tajik traditions, the groom or his relatives often gather information about a potential bride through acquaintances and neighbours to assess whether she is suitable for marriage.

    However, if it is determined that his intentions were violent in nature, a criminal case will be opened under Article 139, "Violent Acts of a Sexual Nature," of the Criminal Code of the Republic of Tajikistan.
    When a report is made to the Ministry of Internal Affairs, the perpetrator will first receive a warning. If the actions are repeated, a criminal case will be initiated, and a protective order may be issued, prohibiting him from approaching the victim.

    However, despite the laws, the situation of violence against women in Tajikistan remains difficult. Experts note that, for example, protective orders did not meet expectations: more than 80% of rapists violate them, while repeated violations and domestic violence are not punishable by law.

  • What should I do if I encounter harassment?
    First, speak to your loved ones about what happened. Then, file a statement with the Ministry of Internal Affairs at your place of residence. You can also contact the Committee on Women and Family Affairs, the Commissioner for Human Rights, or the Commissioner for Children's Rights if you are under 18 years old.
    If you are facing violence and have nowhere to turn, there are public organizations in Tajikistan that can provide assistance and shelter. Here are a few of them:

    NGO "Korvoni Umed" provides assistance to victims from Dushanbe and nearby areas.
    Contacts:
    +992 900 00 1222 (around the clock)
    +992 905 05 38 56 (around the clock)

    NGO "Themis" – assistance for victims in Dushanbe, Vakhdat, Tursunzad and Rudaki district. Provides asylum for up to 3 months.
    Contacts:
    227 76 20 (from 8:00 to 17:00, Mon-Fri)
    +992 935 01 62 92 (from 8:00 to 17:00, Mon-Fri)

    NGO "Gulrukhsor" (Khujand) – provides asylum for up to 14 days.
    Contacts:
    8 34 22 6 05 10 (around the clock)

    NGO "Gamkhori" (Bokhtar) – provides shelter for up to 30 days.
    Contacts:
    8 3222 2 78 79 (around the clock)

    Contacting these organizations can be the first step towards salvation and protection.
    The full list of organizations and contacts can be viewed here.

  • What exactly can the state do to protect those facing threats or violence? What legal protections exist, and what steps should victims take to seek help?
    "The answers to these questions depend on the age of the perpetrator and the severity of his actions," says Nozim Abdullayev, Associate Professor in the Department of Criminal Law at RTSU. If a stalker is under the age of 14, he will not be held criminally responsible according to the law. Instead, his parents will be held accountable.

    If an incident involves threats or a fight that does not result in serious consequences, the parents may be held accountable under Article 90, "Failure to Fulfil Duties of Guardianship, Education, and Upbringing of Minors," of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Republic of Tajikistan.

    If the persecution involves repeated beatings or a threat to the victim's life or health, parents may face prosecution under Articles 174, "Failure to Fulfil Obligations on the Education and Upbringing of Minors," and 175, "Improper Fulfilment of Obligations to Ensure the Safety of Life and Health of Children," of the Criminal Code of the Republic of Tajikistan.

    If a perpetrator is an adult, the motivation behind his actions becomes an important factor. For example, if he claims to have been trying to get to know the victim with the intention of marriage, he may not face punishment. According to Tajik traditions, the groom or his relatives often gather information about a potential bride through acquaintances and neighbours to assess whether she is suitable for marriage.

    However, if it is determined that his intentions were violent in nature, a criminal case will be opened under Article 139, "Violent Acts of a Sexual Nature," of the Criminal Code of the Republic of Tajikistan.
    When a report is made to the Ministry of Internal Affairs, the perpetrator will first receive a warning. If the actions are repeated, a criminal case will be initiated, and a protective order may be issued, prohibiting him from approaching the victim.

    However, despite the laws, the situation of violence against women in Tajikistan remains difficult. Experts note that, for example, protective orders did not meet expectations: more than 80% of rapists violate them, while repeated violations and domestic violence are not punishable by law.
  • What should I do if I encounter harassment?
    First, speak to your loved ones about what happened. Then, file a statement with the Ministry of Internal Affairs at your place of residence. You can also contact the Committee on Women and Family Affairs, the Commissioner for Human Rights, or the Commissioner for Children's Rights if you are under 18 years old.
    If you are facing violence and have nowhere to turn, there are public organizations in Tajikistan that can provide assistance and shelter. Here are a few of them:

    NGO "Korvoni Umed" provides assistance to victims from Dushanbe and nearby areas.
    Contacts:
    +992 900 00 1222 (around the clock)
    +992 905 05 38 56 (around the clock)

    NGO "Themis" – assistance for victims in Dushanbe, Vakhdat, Tursunzad and Rudaki district. Provides asylum for up to 3 months.
    Contacts:
    227 76 20 (from 8:00 to 17:00, Mon-Fri)
    +992 935 01 62 92 (from 8:00 to 17:00, Mon-Fri)

    NGO "Gulrukhsor" (Khujand) – provides asylum for up to 14 days.
    Contacts:
    8 34 22 6 05 10 (around the clock)

    NGO "Gamkhori" (Bokhtar) – provides shelter for up to 30 days.
    Contacts:
    8 3222 2 78 79 (around the clock)

    Contacting these organizations can be the first step towards salvation and protection.
    The full list of organizations and contacts can be viewed here.
Layout and design: Mark Afanasev

Project mentor: Katerina Sinyuk
The material was created by the project team working to combat gender-based violence in Central Asia "Voices of the Brave"

By:
Camellia Samoylenko, Katerina Afanasyeva
Illustrations:
Mark Afanasev with the help of AI
Editors:
Katerina Afanasyeva, Natalia Lee
Gender—based violence is when someone is bullied or oppressed because they are male or female. This can be physical violence (hitting, pushing), psychological violence (threats, manipulation), as well as sexualized violence (coercion to intimate acts) or economic violence (control over money).