"Bruises and Split Lips Were My Only Makeup in 17 Years of Living With This Person"
A Story about Domestic Violence in Tajikistan
Domestic violence against women remains one of the acute problems in Tajikistan. According to the PDV (Prevention of Domestic Violence) Project, in 2019, 49.2% of women experienced at least one type of physical violence, and 28.3% were subjected to physical violence by their spouses.

A high percentage of the victims are women from remote areas and villages. The illegal actions of the majority of abusers remain unpunished, since women do not know their rights and stay silent about violence.
In 1971, a girl named Firuza was born in the family of the foreman Otakhonov in the Hamadoni district of Khatlon region, which is also known as Moskovskiy district. She grew up as a freedom-loving child, enjoyed her status of the eldest child in the family and was never restricted in doing anything. The happy years ended with her father's death.

Her mother became a widow with seven children.
Firuza dropped out of the Kulob Pedagogical Institute after the first year, married her beloved Zoir, and moved to the mountainous Khovaling district. However, she never knew the happiness.

The new home became a prison for her, where each member of her husband's family was a strict guard. Her husband beat her until she fainted, and her mother-in-law abused her.
The young woman baked bread in tandoor [ cylindrical clay oven- Tr.], cooked food over the open fire three times a day, washed clothes in cold water outside and endured it.

"For the slightest mistake, they kicked me out barefoot in winter, locked me up in a basement, deprived of food and made me work hard enough for four. Zoir's mother could hit me on the head when I was drinking water. Bruises and split lips were my only makeup in 17 years of living with this person."

In 1996, their son Bahtjamol was born; he was the only consolation for Firuza. However, the boy had rickets. The husband's relatives did not attach any importance to the baby's illness.

"Everything is the will of Allah. He is not the last child, after all," the mother-in-law repeated for five months, until her grandson's death.

In a sense, the words of Zoir's mother proved to be a prophecy. In 1997, Rahmon was born. Firuza again felt the joy of motherhood. However, less than four weeks after his birth, the mother-in-law sent her to the field to sow wheat.

Worrying about her child, Firuza dared to ask her grandmother to look after the boy. In response, she was hit on the back. In the evening, she found her son dead. He was left alone in the cold basement to die.

"My son burned to death. He had a fever, but no one even remembered about him. I already forgot about the love I once felt for Zoir, about the headaches and about the tortured body. Until the birth of my eldest daughter, I did not live – I existed."

After the death of two sons, Firuza gave birth to four more children: three girls and a boy. Family life began slowly improving. Depriving themselves, Zoir and Firuza built a house in Vose district. In 2012, the husband left to work in Russia. At first, he provided for his family. The children went to school.

"I vividly remember: it was November. During the dinner, a drunken brother-in-law came to us. He hit me in the face scaring the kids. He told us to leave the house because Zoir was going to marry another woman soon. I did not have time to pack my belongings, to dress the children. At night, we were kicked out. The neighbour's husband took us to my mother, in Pushkin district."

Firuza realized that she would not be able to live in a small house with four children. Her brother with his wife and sons were living there. The relatives helped the woman to rent a room in a shared households, provided food during some time. Her children never received an education; they had to mature early and learn to survive. The son, who is 14 now, baked bread in a local bakery since he was 9, and washed dishes in a cafe. Mother and daughters were cleaning in the markets, shops and pharmacies. Their total income per day could be at most $4-5. With this money, they somehow bought food and paid for the rent.
Their father Zoir demolished their house and built a new one for his new wife. One of her grown-up daughters almost repeated her mother's life.

When she was 17, Zebuniso married and became unwelcome in the new house, rather a servant. The man repeatedly sexually abused his wife, beating her and taking pleasure in it. A young woman gave birth to a sick child.

"The children had to wear clothes after my nephews. Sometimes, my son had to wear women's clothes not to get sick."

"Her husband beat her from the first day of their life together, even when she was pregnant. In December 2019, Abdurahmon was born. The grandson was diagnosed with a cerebral hernia. As soon as he saw him, the son-in-law announced "talaq" three times (a ritual word; it is believed that a man can simply pronounce it to divorce his wife - Ed.). I brought my grandson and daughter to my home.

Several months ago, Zebuniso left to work in Russia, and left the child with me. In Moscow, she now earns money by cleaning houses. However, this money is barely enough to feed a child," says Firuza.

Nevertheless, such a "divorce" is violating all religious dogmas. Islam has several unwavering conditions and rules that must be followed for a divorce.
The Domestic Violence Problems are Difficult to Solve. What Should Be Done?
There are thousands of such sad stories about divorced women in Tajikistan.
Despite the fact that the Law on the Prevention of Domestic Violence was adopted in the country in 2013, the number of victims is not decreasing. Why does it happen? The practicing lawyer Shavkat Mustafokulov answers CABAR.asia.

"First, I would like to note that the problem is in our mentality. In most cases, our people try not to wash dirty linen in public. Whatever happens, it will be resolved inside the family – that is what they think. Unfortunately, the decision-making bodies did not consider all the peculiarities of our society during the adoption of this law. I see this as one of the main reasons.

Second, we do not promote this law; we talk little about it. We just began to carry out some activities that strengthen the implementation of the law in real life. For example, a hotline 1313 functions in our country. There, the employees of the Committee on Women and Family Affairs under the Government of the Republic of Tajikistan answer calls 24/7 and assist in solving of such problems.

Third, the mechanism for implementation of this law is not fully developed. To do this, it is necessary to prepare – to adopt bylaws. They will help ordinary citizens not knowing legal terminology to understand how the law works."

Shavkat Mustafokulov

Firuza could avoid poverty, and her husband would be forced to support her children, if she had addressed the relevant authorities. Despite the fact that their marriage was not officially registered, Zoir has to pay child support, since such cases have no period of limitations.

For this, Firuza had to file a lawsuit to establish paternity; the DNA testing could prove this. If the paternity is established, and the woman can prove that they lived together, the man is recognized as the father of the children and obliged to provide for them.

However, Firuza decided to stay silent and leave the abuser alone.
Still, domestic violence victims in Tajikistan have organisations to turn to.

Contacts of Organisations Supporting Domestic Violence Victims
Committee on Women and Family Affairs
League of Women Lawyers NGO
Dushanbe, 32/2 Ayni Street, apt. 7

Women's Centre "Gulrukhsor"
Khujand city, 111 Nabieva Street

Crisis centre "Mokhi Munir"
Khatlon region, Jayhun district, Panj jamoat, Pakhtakor-28 village

Crisis centre "Gamkori"
Bokhtar city, 1 Abdurakhimov Street
"Najoti Kudakon" NGO
Kulob city, Shokhin Street
"Korvoni Umed" NGO
Dushanbe, 11 Nosiri Khisrav Street

"Madadgor" NGO
Vahdat city, 3 Tugdona Street
"Mumtoz" NGO
Rudaki district, 13 Buston Street
"Mayram" NGO
Kulob city, 7 Nematov Street
"Madina" NGO
Khorugh, 66 Kirmonsho Khubonsho Street
"Femida" NGO
Dushanbe, 3/1 Tursunzade street
However, many human rights activists believe that in order to address the problem of domestic violence victims, a system of an integrated approach both from the state and society is needed.

In CABAR.asia interview, human rights activist Larisa Aleksandrova said that there is no unified official statistics in the country either on administrative offenses under the Law on the Prevention of Domestic Violence, or on domestic violence crimes that lead to liability, under all articles of the Criminal Code of Tajikistan. Even if such statistics are available, civil society has no access to them.

"It is also important that not all violence victims address the law enforcement agencies, as the latest studies on this issue show. The victim speaks out when she no longer expects help from the family. How many cases are there not known to government agencies?

If we consider not only statistics, but also observations, in my opinion, the situation worsens every day. The domestic violence victims, most often women, are driven to despair. The publications and posts on social networks, media materials, and the number of addresses to public organisations prove this.

Such organisations support domestic violence victims, but that is not enough. This issue requires a systemic comprehensive state approach. Nevertheless, it does not exist, although there is the law and the program."

Larisa Aleksandrova

Firuza was silent for many years and did not want to share her story. However, her situation is not improving. Now, she is thinking about her children's future and about her sick grandson who needs special care. The woman is not sure that the child will survive the cold winter without electricity supply in a poorly heated apartment.
"Every day, I pray that my children have their own home. I pray so that they do not wander the streets searching for work, do not be afraid that they could be kicked out of their rented apartment in the middle of the night. I want them to be confident in the future. Unfortunately, I cannot provide them with a decent future. I did and still do everything that I can, but this is not enough."

Firuza hopes that the state and caring people will pay attention to her family, help her with housing and children's education, and with saving the life of her grandson, little Abdurahmon, who is suffering from a cerebral hernia.